Tuesday, May 30, 2006

IT'S NOT THE ROSE PARADE!


Memorial Day has come and gone. Good riddance! I attended my first small-town Memorial Day parade on Monday. Why did I do that? Simply because Anna, daughter #2 and Twin #1, is in the middle school band and they were marching in this parade. As a loving and doting father, I felt it was my duty to go and watch as she proudly marched past with her cymbals crashing to patriotic music.

The parade was scheduled to start at noon. Anna had to be at the school at 11:00. The temperature was already 90 degrees and rising when we dropped her off. We parked the family minivan at the school and walked downtown.

Downtown Caledonia is two blocks long. It has a tavern, a nice restaurant, a Laundromat, a couple of insurance agencies, a hardware store, a farm supply store, a Masonic lodge, and an old building that Alanon uses. Caledonia’s downtown has not yet experienced the gentrification that other old downtowns have.

We walked about six blocks in the blazing heat. This was the first moment that I wondered if I had made a terrible mistake. I found a nice niche along Sam’s Joint where we could sit. They were steps that led to a door that was no longer there and we could sit in the shade and wait for the parade to come by.

As you know, I grew up in Southern California. I think the only parade I have ever attended in my life is the Tournament of Roses Parade down Colorado Boulevard in Pasadena. That was a regular experience for me in my youth. For me, the Rose Parade is the definition of the word “parade.” Somebody should have warned me!

The Caledonia Memorial Day Parade started off with a bang! Two fighter jets flew over downtown at precisely noon. (How do they get the time so perfectly right?) It was downhill from there.

The VFW guys marched by and the crowd went wild. I just felt so proud that our boys are dying in yet another nation to “save our freedom.” Yes, that’s what the sign said. “Thank you to our armed forces for fighting for our freedom in Iraq.” Mia looked at me nervously. She’s always afraid that I will say something too loudly and get beaten up by VFW guys with their toy rifles. I just silently wondered how my freedom depends on what is happening in Iraq. Then there was a sign that said, “Thank you for your sacrifice.” I wondered, a little too loudly, if that wasn’t kind of a loose use of the word “sacrifice.” I turned to Mia and said, “By definition, doesn’t a sacrifice have to be something voluntary?” She shot that look at me and I shut up.

Enough of my left wing, commie, pinko ranting. Back to the parade. After the VFW heroes came the Boy Scouts and the Cub Scouts. Then there was the fire truck, the ambulance, and the search and rescue vehicle. Following these beautiful floats came the Harley Davidson guys. Six gorgeous motorcycles with big old fat guys with long hair and beards and bigger, fatter women sitting up behind them. Stirred my heart.

Next was a guy who has a hot air balloon business. He had one of his baskets in the back of a pick up truck and as they passed by he pulled the handle on the gas thingy and shot a flame twenty feet in the air. The crowd went nuts! The classic cars came next.

Finally! The middle school band!!!! I actually stood up to see Anna. I spotted her! She was on our side of the street! There she marched in the sweltering sun. That’s all she did. She marched. No cymbals. Nothing. She might have been humming along but I couldn’t tell for sure.

Three farm girls rode their horses behind the band and that was it. Eight minutes of riotous, patriotic fervor!

We’re all sunburned. Mia really got it bad on the tops of her legs. I’ve already had enough sun in my life to support thousands of carcinomas so it didn’t really bother me. I asked Mia if there was any other way I could demonstrate my love for Anna next year. She gave me that look and I shut up.

(After we picked Anna up she informed us that she was sharing the cymbals with the other girl because they were too heavy for one girl to carry during the entire parade route. I’m serious.)

THE DAVINCI LOAD


I went to see the DaVinci Code on Sunday afternoon with a bunch of ShilohFolks. After worship we ordered in a stack of pizzas and had lunch together. Then we had a one hour seminar on the book by Dan Brown, The DaVinci Code. It was a very interesting conversation about the deity of Jesus, the Council of Nicea, and the establishing of the New Testament canon. Then we went to see the film.

First, Ron Howard and the screenwriters sure took a lot of artistic license with the book. You certainly could recognize that it was the same story but there were so many things changed that the story took on a very different emphasis.

Second, I came away feeling that if I had not read the book first the movie would not have made much sense. It felt very disjointed and it seemed to jump around so much that it was hard to follow.

Third, all the hullabaloo raised by evangelicals about the movie was pretty unnecessary. The attacks on Christianity are there all right but they are hard to take very seriously. I don’t feel particularly offended or attacked. The young guy who was sitting on my right is a brand new Christian and he was incensed at what they said about Jesus but that could have been expected. The movie comes off far more fictional than the book does. Opus Dei shouldn’t be so upset. But the Vatican and the French got nailed again!

I like Tom Hanks. I don’t think the critics’ criticisms are really fair. He was saddled with a weak script here. Maybe the best parts ended up on the cutting room floor, I don’t know. Paul Bettany is one of my favorites. I loved his work in A Beautiful Mind and Master and Commander. He was great in the DaVinci Code as the good/bad guy.

I guess that’s about all. I’m supposed to take another group to see it again next Sunday. I’m wondering if I might call in sick!

Thanks for stopping by! You guys are great!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

A BASEBALL DIATRIBE



Tonight I want to write about something that probably won’t interest anyone but me. I think it’s time I got this off my chest. It’s about baseball. If you want to stop reading right now, feel free. I won’t feel hurt and I wouldn’t blame you.

I’ve been a huge baseball fan all my life. I attended my first Major League baseball game in 1961 at Wrigley Field in Los Angeles. That’s right, Los Angeles, not Chicago. A brand new expansion team was playing its first season in that venerable old stadium which no longer exists. The Los Angeles Angels (formerly the Triple A minor league team of the Chicago Cubs) played the Detroit Tigers. My dad was still a big fan of the Tigers whom he had followed all his life in Michigan.

But it was the Dodgers that stole my heart. I used to sit and listen to the games on the radio and score them and save all the score sheets. I loved Maury Wills, Willie Davis, Tommie Davis, Jim Gilliam, Don Drysdale, Sandy Koufax, John Roseboro and all the old Dodgers. You could say I lived and breathed Dodgers baseball.

Then I started collecting Topps baseball cards when they were still just a nickel a pack. I saved up my allowance and lawn mowing money and rode my bike to the Seven Eleven to spend it all on baseball cards. I would go in my bedroom and close the door so I could open the packs of cards in private. The smell of the fresh cards and the hard bubble gum still bounces around in my brain somewhere. I collected full sets of Topps cards starting in 1964. (I still have them. Wonder what they’re worth?)

Throughout high school I was in the right centerfield bleachers with my buddies at least once or twice during every home stand. Five bucks used to get you into the bleachers with enough left over for a Dodger dog and a Coke. When I got to Wheaton I started going to Wrigley Field to watch the Cubs. I was truly happy when my beloved Dodgers came to town. I loved sitting in the left field bleachers in the sun. Sometimes when we felt adventurous we would go down to old Comiskey Park and catch a White Sox game. That was a thrill because I could imagine Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and Joe DiMaggio patrolling that very outfield.

I still love the Dodgers. I check on them every day to see what they did the night before. Our local papers never cover the Dodgers. The sports page always says, “Dodgers-late game.” So I have to get their scores off the internet. But baseball has changed forever.

Steroids have all but ruined baseball for me. What really matters to a real baseball fan? I’ll tell you, all those tiny lines of print on the back of baseball cards that record all the records and statistics of a player. All the fun of debating with your buddies whether Willie Mays or Mickey Mantle was better. The biggest debate of my life, until recently, was whether Roger Maris’ 61 home runs in 162 games should be the home run record or Babe Ruth’s 60 home runs in 154 games. That debate was worth hours of good-natured arguing.

But what do statistics mean anymore? One could always argue about the fact that the Babe played before there were any black players or Latino players so he didn’t face the best. Or one could argue that massive expansion has so diluted pitching that today’s hitters don’t have to face pitchers as good as Babe faced. You could argue forever about the dead ball era and the juiced ball of modern times. But now the players themselves are juiced and the records seem to be nothing at all. Is Barry Bonds really better than Joe DiMaggio, Ted Williams, Willie Mays, and Mickey Mantle? Were Sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire as great as their records show? We’ll never know.

It makes me sick. Barry should have been banned from playing another baseball game ever. So should any player who has used steroids. Track and field doesn’t tolerate cheaters. Why should baseball? Maybe I’m just old-fashioned. Or maybe I’m grieving the loss of one of the great joys of my childhood and youth. I just hope Barry Bonds is out of baseball before he passes a real gentleman, Henry Aaron, for the all time home run record.

Thanks for stopping by. You’re very kind.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

SHILOHMAN THE SCIENCE GUY


PUZZLED BY SCIENCE AGAIN!

I have some questions for my scientific friends out there. Perhaps you could help me figure out this problem.

Once again I find myself stumped by science. The geological scientists tell me that the world is billions of years old. From my understanding, this has to be true because it would take that long for the major geological features of our earth to develop. For example, it would take billions of years for the Alps or the Rockies to grow. Or, it would take at least millions of years for the Grand Canyon to be carved out. You know. You all studied this stuff in high school or college.

So I was reading the news a couple of weeks ago and there was a very interesting article about Mount St. Helens. It seems that a giant rock has started to rise out of the magma dome that has grown up in the crater of the volcano. I saw the photo. It’s really amazing! There’s this huge slab of stone climbing into the sky out of the ground! It’s very impressive!

But here’s the thing that caused me to start wondering. They say it is growing at the rate of between four and five feet A DAY! Now how could that be? I got out my trusty calculator and started doing some figuring. Mount Everest is 29,035 feet high. According to the rate of growth of the new peak in Mount St. Helens it would take less than sixteen years for Mount Everest to reach its current height! I didn’t take much math but I’m pretty sure that sixteen years is not nearly as long as billions of years.

I’m not hearing very much about this from the geologists. Could that be because this rate of growth in Mount St. Helens doesn’t fit with all their theories? Is it possible that the earth is not nearly as old as they think it is? I wonder what they would come up with if they did some tests to date the age of the rock in Mount St. Helens. Maybe you can’t really get accurate dates on rock? Do they have carbon in them for Carbon-14 dating? I mean, this is pretty new rock; five new feet of it every day!

I’m just a little suspicious, I know. But if you can solve this problem for me I would appreciate it. I’m losing confidence in modern “science” again!

Thanks for listening. You’re all great!

Monday, May 15, 2006

P.S. A LITERARY QUESTION

By the way, have any of you dear friends on the Quadblog read any Patricia Cornwell? I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks!

SHILOHMAN'S NEWS AND COMMENT


NEWS COVERAGE FOR THE QUADBLOG

Senator Ted Kennedy was flying home from North Adams, Mass. last Saturday afternoon when the Cessna jet in which he was flying was struck by lightning. All the electrical functions on the plane were blown out including the instruments. The pilot had to fly the plane manually and it landed safely in New Haven, CT. Wouldn’t you wonder if this was a warning? When will this guy ever get the message?

Speaking of Kennedys. U.S. Representative Patrick Kennedy, Teddie’s son, had a little traffic problem of his own in DC. Seems he leaped out of bed around 2:00 AM, jumped into his car and dashed off to the Capitol. He thought he was late for a vote. (Well I guess he WAS at 2:00AM!) Anyhow, a security barrier jumped in the way and he smashed up his ’97 Mustang and got pulled over by the Capitol Police. He swore he wasn’t drinking. Next day he revealed that he is entering rehab for addiction to prescription pain meds. (Wouldn’t it have been funny if Rush Limbaugh was his roommate?) Teddie said he was so proud of his son for recognizing he had a problem. Good thing there aren’t any rivers or bridges between Patrick’s townhouse and the Capitol!

Did you see this one in the news on Sunday? HARTFORD, Conn. U.S. military troops with sever psychological problems have been sent to Iraq or kept in combat, even when superiors have been aware of signs of mental illness. Doesn’t that make you stop and think? And you were wondering how the Smoking Christian passed his military psych screen?

Does anyone recognize the name Sheila Kuehl? You people in SoCal might have heard of her. She’s a California state senator representing West Los Angeles. If she isn’t famous as a politician you older readers might remember her because she played Zelda on the Doby Gillis Show. She was so cute the way she wrinkled her nose at Doby and aggravated Maynard G. Krebs (who later turned into Gilligan). I had a crush on her back in the 60s. Anyway, she has introduced a bill intended to insure that future history textbooks include gay and lesbian history. Turns out Zelda is gay! Say it ain’t so, Zelda! That's almost like finding out Christie Brinkley is a lesbian!

The Pope has excommunicated two Chinese bishops that were recently appointed by the Chinese government. Apparently, the Vatican just doesn’t appreciate the help of the politicians in an atheistic country. The church says it only recognizes the bishops they themselves appoint. Huh! I mean, who do they think they are? I just want all our loyal readers out there to know that the Church of the Smoking Christian reserves the right to appoint all its own church officials regardless of what the Vatican thinks. As Cardinal of the COTSCO I would like to say, and I’m sure my protonotary agrees with me, we will not be frightened away! We will fearlessly take our stand against any persecution or prosecution!

Finally, I give you a direct quote, dateline May 4 Budapest, Hungary. Hungarian builders who drank their way to the bottom of a huge barrel of rum while renovating a house got a nasty surprise when a pickled corpse tumbled out of the empty barrel, a police magazine website reported. According to online magazine www.zsaru.hu, workers in Szeged in the south of Hungary tried to move the barrel after they had drained it, only to find it was surprisingly heavy and were shocked when the body of a naked man fell out. The website said that the body of the man had been shipped back from Jamaica 20 years ago by his wife in the barrel of rum in order to avoid the cost and paperwork of an official return. According to the website, workers said the rum in the 300-liter barrel had a "special taste" so they even decanted a few bottles of the liquor to take home. The wife has since died and the man was buried in a proper grave.
There must be a lesson here somewhere!

You guys are all great! Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, May 12, 2006

TRAPPED!

This is just to let you guys know I'm still in my basement taping and mudding my new drywall. All the boards are safely screwed up. (Yes, I said screwed up.) Now there is drywall compound all over the floor and all over my clothes. Don't worry. I'll be back. (If I don't suffocate from all the sanding!)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

STOP! DON'T DO IT YOURSELF!


IN SYMPATHY WITH TOOL-CHALLENGED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

Go ahead. Ask me what I’ve been doing for the last three days. Especially you, Mr. Handyman OG. Go ahead, ask! I’ve been drywalling the basement with Son #2 and Son #3. We started taping and mudding today.

I hate Do It Yourself projects. I really do. First, I don’t know how to do it myself. I was raised in a tool-challenged environment. My dad was a college professor. We had two screwdrivers (slot and Philips), a hand saw (no one ever trusted a Moorhead with a power tool), a pipe wrench, a hammer, and a set of pliers. (I don’t even know how to spell Philips!) If my dad ever had to attempt a DIY project he had to go next door to Mr. Retired Blue-Collar Guy and borrow the tools.

Second, I don’t even know what tools I need. I put up drywall for several months in 1979 when I was between churches so I learned how to nail board onto studs. But they never let me measure or cut the board. Nor did they let me anywhere near the taping gun and mud. I have a Black & Decker battery-powered drill to use to put in the screws, so I can do that. I have a matte knife to cut the board. I have a T-square that belonged to my late wife. (I don’t know what she used it for.) I got on the internet and went to This Old House to see if I needed any more tools. I did.

Let me tell you a little about this job. We moved into this brand new house in July of ’02. We couldn’t afford to finish the basement even though we had two bedrooms put in there for Sons #2, #3, and #4. I offhandedly said to my lovely wife, “Oh, don’t worry Honey, I’ll do it with the boys someday soon.” (I was unemployed at the time.) “Someday soon” arrived on Monday! There is a 14 foot hip wall of solid concrete that I had to figure out what to do with. One of the guys at church told me to use a “ram set” (?) and attach two by fours to the wall and then just put on the drywall. I said, “Oh, of course! Why didn’t I think of that!)

Caledonia Rent All has everything. “Hello, do you have one of those tool thingies that drives nails into concrete?” “You mean a ram set?” “Of course I mean a ram set! What else would I be talking about?” Rented the ramset this morning for $15 (including shells and ammo).

Third, something always goes wrong and the three day job takes three months. Son #2 was using the ram set. He worked construction last summer so he was elected to risk his life with the ram set. He finished up in plenty of time and Son #3 returned the ram set to Caledonia Rent All. I went over to look at the job Son #2 did and found most of the nails were sticking out about one eighth of an inch! “Caledonia Rent All? Do you have one of those tool thingies that cuts the heads off of nails that the thingy that drives nails into concrete…?” “Mr. Moorhead?” “No, why do you ask?” “Mr. Moorhead, you need a grinder.” “OK. Son #3 will be right there.” Five more bucks for the grinder.

Then my Black & Decker (Am I spelling that right? Why didn’t I get a DeWalt?) battery charger stopped charging. I still have a bunch of corner bead to put up. Off to Lowe’s for a new charger and or battery tomorrow morning.

Too many trips to Lowe’s. More putty knives. More mud trays. Another rotating head drywall sander on a pole. I hate this! My back hurts. My fingers hurt. Everything hurts! My lovely wife is so encouraging. “You’re doing such a great job! It looks like a real room now! It seems so much bigger! The joy is in the accomplishment!” She’s so good. But this is why I went to college. I didn’t want to have to do this!

Thanks for listening. You guys are all great!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

A CALL TO BUFFET DINERS!


I wonder if you saw the item on ABC News this morning about the family that was banished from their local buffet restaurant for wasting food. The mother of the family complained that the sign said “All You Can Eat.” The manager of the restaurant noted that the operative word in the sign was “Eat.” She stated that the family was taking far more food than they could possibly eat. This family is no longer allowed to eat in that restaurant.

A number of our readers are regulars at their local buffet restaurants. I’m concerned about the ramifications such behavior on the part of restaurant managers might bring about. All of us have had the experience of taking “food” from the hot table and then discovering it did not taste like anything familiar once we got it back to our tables. Could this really be considered wasting “food?”

I fear a buffet restaurant conspiracy. Are we now going to be considered criminals? I just want my children to know their dad is not a criminal! And what if these managers discover all the little plastic bags in my mother-in-law’s purse? Will she be carted off in handcuffs, have her picture taken, and be printed like a common thief? Something has to be done.

I’m considering calling for a “no bringo” to buffet restaurants day all over North America and Mexico. We have rights! We are just eating “food” no other Americans are willing to eat. Without us the buffet restaurant economy will collapse in upon itself. We need to boycott buffets. Make signs and march in front of the strip malls where these “restaurants” are located! After all, the land upon which they are built was ours before they came and took it away from us! We have children at home who depend on the food we put in our Baggies and send home to them.

Our children can get involved too by participating in the “no bringo” lunch money to school part of the boycott. After all, school cafeterias are no more than buffets with no choice! They should take their lunches to school that day and march off campus to eat them somewhere else.

I’m calling on the buffet diners of America to rise up and demand their rights. We should be allowed to take what we want and then belch and pass gas in any language we want, including Spanish! Jose can you see o’er the land of free food and the home of the Braves?

Friday, May 05, 2006

A BAPTIST AND A PRESBYTERIAN WENT INTO A BAR...


IN AN EFFORT TO PROMOTE ECUMENISM

Two pastors were at a conference when a debate over baptism arose over lunch. The Baptist argued vehemently (as Baptists are wont to do) for his view of total immersion while the Presbyterian sat back, calmly puffing on his pipe, and smilingly stated simply that pouring or sprinkling water on the head was sufficient.

The debate began to wax hotter when the Presbyterian offered to prove his point. The Baptist defied him to do so.

“If the candidate was in water up to his ankles, would that be enough?” asked the Presbyterian.

“Absolutely not!” snapped the Baptist.

“Then how about up to his knees?”

“No. Not good enough,” the Baptist huffed.

“OK. Then how about up to his waist?” queried the patient Presbyterian.

“Nope!”

“Well, what if he was immersed in water up to his chest?”

“That would not be baptism!”

“Would you accept it if he was in water up to his neck?”

“NO!”

“Then how about if he was in water all the way up to his forehead? Would that be good enough?” smiled the Presbyterian?

“No. No. A thousand times no!” shouted the Baptist.

“Well then,” the Presbyterian responded, “It’s just as I said. It’s only the water that goes on top that really matters.”

(Note to Yakimaniac: No, you won’t have to be a very good swimmer. I haven’t lost one yet! But I have stories that ought to be told someday!)

FELIZ CINCO DE MAYO!


I was driving north on the Dan Ryan into Chicago a few years ago when I saw this banner draped across the freeway near Soldier Field:

WELCOME TO CINCO DE MAYO! MAY 6, 7

Thursday, May 04, 2006

WATCHING THE WORLD SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO!


This item came off the Reuters newswire today. Byline, San Agustin, El Salvador.

“Friends and relatives of Cruz Hernandez gathered on Wednesday to celebrate her 128th birthday, a milestone that might make her the world’s oldest person.

“Hernandez, who relatives say spends most of her time dozing and no longer speaks, was surrounded by some 200 people at her party, some bearing a cake and others dressed as Salvadoran mythological heroes.”

What Reuters did not report is that her company is worried they will not be able to replace her if she should suddenly die. A spokesman said, “Where could we find another person who spends most of his time dozing and doesn’t speak?”

The Shilohman staff idly wondered if Cruz was able to blow out all the candles on her cake on one try. COTSCO is checking its membership records to see if she ever joined the church. If she did, it is doubted that she would have the lung capacity to succeed and see her wish granted. Rumor has it that the Smoking Christian himself is looking into beatifying Cruz immediately upon her death.

After the party, Cruz revealed to our investigative reporters that those guests were not Salvadoran mythological heroes but were actually some of her high school boyfriends.

When told that 104-year-old Wook Kundor of Malaysia recently married Muhamad Noor Che Musa, 33, Cruz reportedly giggled and wrote the following note: What's wrong with that girl? Why would she want to tie herself down to just one man? So many men, so little time!"

Reuters reports, “Guinness (Book of World Records) claims Ecuadorean Maria Esther de Capovilla is the world’s oldest living woman at age 116.”

When Cruz was informed of this she immediately signed through an interpreter that she was challenging de Capovilla to a cage match on live television immediately following American Idol as soon as the Unanimous show ends. She said, “You tell Capovilla that her nephew, Pancho Villa, was nothing more than a no good, punk, criminal illegal alien!”

COTSCO is allegedly looking further into this story. The church’s protonotary, a savvy linguist, noted that Cruz’ hometown and country is translated into English as, Saint Augustine, The Savior. Dan Brown of “DaVinci Code” fame theorized that this is not heresy because Mrs. Jesus, aka Mary Magdalene, was remarried to Augustine’s great-great-great-great grandfather and, by virtue of that fact, passed on some of the Holy Grail to his line making Augustine a kind of savior. COTSCO’s Holy Inquisition is poised, waiting for the order to initiate retributive action against the alleged heretics.

When asked about the apparent contradiction between beatifying Cruz and launching an inquisition, a COTSCO spokesman said, “Huh?”

(Note: Neither of the women in the picture above is Cruz Hernandez!)

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

THE IMPORTANCE OF TRUTH


Acts 19:1-10

INTRODUCTION

Today we begin our new sermon series on Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. When we read Ephesians, we are reading someone else’s mail. If you were to read a letter from somebody you don’t know to somebody else you don’t know it wouldn’t make any sense. You would have to know something about the relationship between the two people. You would have to know something about them. It would help you to know the kind of people they are, their interests, and their concerns. In other words, it helps to know the context of the letter. You know how a real estate agent always talks about location, location, location. When you study one of Paul’s letters you need to know context, context, context. For that reason I would like to tell you a little bit about the city of Ephesus and how the church in Ephesus was planted.

Ephesus was located on the Aegean Sea in the far southwest corner of Asia Minor, which is now Turkey. It was the busiest seaport in Asia Minor. In fact, it was the greatest of the ancient Greek cities in Asia Minor, surpassing even Pergamum which was the capital of the province. Strabo, the great Greek historian and geographer who lived at the same time as Jesus, called Ephesus the greatest trading center of all the western Asian cities. Not only did it have the busy seaport but it was also the crossroads of three major overland trade routes. Ephesus had a massive amphitheater which sat over 25,000 people. The Celsus library was second only to the famous library in Alexandria, Egypt.

The native population of Ephesus consisted of Ionians, one of the three major tribes of Greeks who settled all the land surrounding the Aegean Sea. The Ionians were already there at the time we encounter Abraham in the Old Testament. Ephesus had always been dedicated to the worship of Artemis. The name “Artemis” is the Greek name which was given to the Mother goddess of paganism. Originally, she was always just the chief female deity. The Greeks came to see her as the goddess of fertility. The Romans called her Diana. Ephesus was the headquarters of the Artemis cult. In fact, the temple of Artemis was one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. It was four times the size of the Parthenon in Athens. The roof was supported by one hundred twenty-seven pillars, each of which stood sixty feet high.

The cult of Artemis spread throughout the Greek world and its frontiers. Pilgrims traveled from all over to come to Ephesus and participate in the rites at the temple of Artemis. This created a huge cult trade in Ephesus. Craftsmen made miniatures of the temple to be sold to the pilgrims. These would be similar to miniature replicas of the White House or the Capitol. They also created miniature copies of the idol of Artemis which they believed fell from heaven. This was a huge business at the time Paul arrived in Ephesus.

The church in Ephesus had probably been started just a few years before when Paul visited with his traveling companions on his second missionary journey. Acts 18:18, 19 says that Paul sailed from Corinth to Ephesus. He preached in the synagogue there but did not stay long. The people begged him to stay and he promised to return. Then he left Priscilla and Aquila in Ephesus and returned home.

I. STAND FIRM ON GOD’S TRUTH

Paul was not home in Antioch long before setting out on his third missionary journey about 52 AD. He traveled overland through Asia Minor and ministered among the believers whom he had led to faith on previous trips.

Upon arriving in Ephesus he encountered twelve men who didn’t seem to fit into any religious categories. They are called “disciples” in Acts 19:1, but what kind of disciples they were is unclear. They were no longer following the Jewish way. They were not worshipers of Artemis. They had been baptized but there was something different about them. Paul asked them if they received the Holy Spirit when they were baptized but they reported that they knew nothing about the Holy Spirit. It turned out they had received the baptism of John the Baptist but had not heard the rest of the gospel that pointed to Jesus of Nazareth. Paul told them John’s baptism was a baptism of repentance; they needed to trust in Jesus and be baptized in his name! These were good men who had not yet received the whole truth. When they heard that John the Baptist pointed his followers to Jesus they willingly received Christian baptism. Paul laid his hands on them and they received the Holy Spirit.

Paul came to Ephesus to tell the truth of God. Those who worshiped Artemis did
not have the truth. The Jews did not have the truth. These followers of John the Baptist did not have the truth. Of course the people of the Artemis cult thought they had the truth. The Jews and the disciples of John both had part of the truth. The Jews had the truth of the old covenant right up to the time of Jesus the Messiah. The disciples of John had a little bit more truth because they understood the call to repentance. There were people in Ephesus who had no truth and there were people who had varying amounts of the truth. They all needed the truth and Paul had come to give it to them.

In our postmodern age there are people who would argue that Paul had no business coming to Ephesus and telling the people they did not have the truth. They would say the followers of Artemis had a truth that worked for them. The Jews and the disciples of John had truth that was good for them too. What right did Paul have to come to Ephesus and start telling the people they needed to accept his truth? These people say the same thing to us. What right do we have to say that our truth about Jesus is the only truth? They say that all world religions have truth and if it works for them then we should leave them alone.

Truth is not relative. That is worth saying twice! Truth is not relative! To say there is more than one truth is to say there is no truth! Man’s sin made it impossible for him to know truth on his own. Romans 1:18-25 explains this to us. “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.”

Understand what God is saying in this passage! Men once had knowledge of God but in their foolishness they threw away that knowledge and chose to worship idols which represented creatures or man-like beings! This is the very definition of paganism! This is idolatry! This is exactly what the Ephesians were doing when they worshiped Artemis, the goddess of fertility. They once had the truth but they exchanged it for foolishness!

All truth is God’s truth! Only the Creator is truth and has truth, so all truth must be revealed to humankind. The glorious message Paul took to Ephesus is that God came to earth to reveal the truth to men. Jesus said it over and over again, “I tell you the truth.” In John 8:31, 32 he said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 14:6 says, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Pilate famously asked Jesus, “What is truth?” The answer is, “Jesus is truth.” Jesus is God come to earth to invite people back into right relationship with God. The truth is that people are lost because of their sin. They cannot find the truth. They cannot have life with God unless they embrace the truth. The truth is that sin bears an awful penalty. The penalty for sin is death. The truth is that only faith in Jesus who died to pay the penalty for our sins can bring us life.

This is the truth! Paul brought it to the Ephesians because they didn’t have it and they needed it! The worshipers of Artemis needed it. The Jews needed it. And the disciples of John the Baptist needed it. Being close to the truth isn’t good enough! Paul took his stand on the truth that was revealed by God and he accepted nothing else.

We need to stand firm on the truth of God. Why? Because if you ever talk about your faith with anybody; if you ever try to share the truth with somebody, you will be challenged to compromise. If you are a person who never talks about your faith then this part of the message won’t make sense to you. But if you do discuss faith and truth with people, our culture will criticize you for being so exclusive and so certain. Our church needs to find a way to communicate God’s message to our culture. When we do that we need to speak the truth. We will meet with the temptation of cutting out some of the truth and accepting some things that are not truth. We have to stand firm on the truth of God because it is literally a matter of spiritual life and spiritual death. If we do not tell the truth, people will die without it.

Some people will say I am being overly dramatic. A matter of life and death? Let me try to show you how important holding to the truth is. We talked about relative truth a little earlier. Relativism simply states that truth is relative. In other words, you have a truth that works for you and I have a truth that works for me. It doesn’t matter if they are utterly contradictory because each of us has the right to decide what truth is for ourselves. The concept of relative truth makes a person feel completely free. There are no rules they have to live up to. There is no truth by which they are going to be judged because they make up their own rules. But if there is no absolute truth, then there is no meaning. A person can feel completely free but he is robbed of meaning in his life. That may not matter to some people but, to those who think about it, a lack of meaning in life leads to hopelessness. If there is no meaning to my life then there is no significance. All is hopeless. Hopelessness leads to self-destruction. I believe there are a lot of people who are feeling a lack of meaning in their lives. I think there is a lot of hopelessness out there. We have the answer for them. We have the meaning and purpose that leads to hope. Truth gives us a hopeful and meaningful place to set out feet, a place to take a stand and the way to find significance in our lives.

How do we tell the truth? We tell the truth with love. We do not have to become hellfire and brimstone preachers. We do not have to become argumentative. We do not have to pick fights. The best way to tell the truth is to live it out in our daily lives. The best way to tell the truth is to love the people around us and then share it with them when God gives us opportunity. But we have to take a firm stand on the truth of God!

II. PRESS ON WHEN OPPOSED

It was always Paul’s practice to take the message of Jesus to the Jews first. Wherever he went, he first entered the synagogue and taught the message of the kingdom of God. He knew the message had to be preached to the children of Israel before it was taken to the Gentiles. He did this same thing in Ephesus. Acts 19:8 says he went into the synagogue and “spoke boldly there for three months, arguing persuasively about the kingdom of God.” For three months Paul taught the Jews the truth about the kingdom of God. The Jews’ understanding of God’s kingdom was skewed. They were expecting an earthly Messiah and an earthly kingdom. They did not have God’s truth about a lot of the things they believed. So Paul spent three months debating, discussing, and persuading the Jews to recognize Jesus as their Messiah and to realize the kingdom of God was a spiritual kingdom.

Then some of the Jews began to oppose Paul. Acts 19:9a says they began to speak evil of the way of Jesus in front of all the people of Ephesus. This seems to be the thing that finally motivated Paul to leave the synagogue. But the thing to notice here is that Paul moved; he didn’t quit! “He took the disciples with him and had discussions daily in the lecture hall of Tyrannus.” (Acts 19:9b) Tyrannus was some kind of professional teacher. We know nothing about him. Apparently he was successful enough to have his own school building. The usual practice in those days was that students would come to school early in the morning and stay until about 11:00 before taking an afternoon break. It was the practice to eat and then rest through the heat of the day. Then they would return for an evening session around 4:00. This made the school of Tyrannus available in the middle of the day. So Paul would work at his tent making trade all morning and then go and teach throughout the heat of the afternoon. This really says something about the dedication and commitment of both Paul and his disciples. Paul went on like this for over two years! Why? Because he believed in the importance of the truth! He knew he needed to spread the truth and build the kingdom of God. Opposition could not stop him. When he was opposed he pressed on and found a way to keep telling the truth!

We are focusing our attention this morning on the importance of the truth of God. We read about Paul and his commitment to the truth and his determination to press on with the truth in the face of opposition. How important is the truth to us? Do we really see it as a matter of life and death? Are we committed to doing whatever we can to find a way to successfully communicate the truth to the people and the culture around us? We will face opposition in our world. There is no question about that. The question is, what will we do when that opposition comes? Will we become discouraged and give up? Will we get angry and stalk off thinking that those who oppose us are just unworthy? What will we do when we have tried and tried for a year or two and there has been no visible progress? Will we get frustrated? Will we grow weary and quit? Will we just stop loving our family and friends? Or will we press on? Will it matter to you if people make fun of you? Will it matter if they think you’re foolish or naïve? Will it matter if they try to find ways to shut you up? Jesus pressed on. Paul pressed on. We must also press on because the truth of God is important and it is the only message of hope our world has today!

© Rev. David A. Moorhead

The picture at the top is the Temple of Artemis

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

SHILOHMAN'S NEWS AND COMMENT


NEWS COVERAGE FOR THE QUADBLOG

So Paul Harvey refused to give us the news about the immigrants’ boycott. That’s fine. I’ve always liked Paul Harvey. I met him once in 1976 when he was a special speaker at a Youth For Christ fundraising banquet we did. He was very nice.

I read in the newspaper that an illegal immigrant mom wanted to make sure her kids knew she wasn’t a criminal. Isn’t that an oxymoron?

Did you see this headline? “Malvo Might Testify against Mentor.” He and John Allen Muhammad were the two guys who shot up the DC area from the trunk of a car four years ago. Can you imagine how heartbroken Muhammad must feel? He pours his life into this wayward youth trying to “mentor” him and the kid turns against him! What an ungrateful little punk!

I was stunned to see that 16,000 species of living things on our planet are in danger of being endangered. In the Mediterranean Sea there are 252 species of fish that are endangered now. Seven species are already extinct, including two relatives of the carp! No wonder the price of carp keeps going up!

The government has come up with a plan of action in case of a flu pandemic. I wonder if it is the same group that came up with a plan to evacuate New Orleans? Anyway, one of the plans is to have surgical masks on planes to give to coughing passengers. Can you imagine some flight attendant trying to force a large, overserved, businessman to put on a mask? Talk about traveler’s rage! And employers are going to be instructed to have their workers remain at least three feet apart to prevent passing on the bug. I’m trying to imagine how this would work. Can you picture a waitress walking around with a yardstick taped to each hip?

I saved the best for last. Muhamad Noor Che Musa, 33, just married Wook Kundur, 104, in Malaysia. Wook has been married 20 times before. Where are Herman’s Hermits when you need them? “I’m Muhamad the 21st, I am…” He’s going to teach her to read and write Roman script and she is going to teach him Islamic knowledge. I suppose she could teach him a few more things but we won’t go there.

You guys are all great! Thanks for stopping by!