A BAPTIST AND A PRESBYTERIAN WENT INTO A BAR...
IN AN EFFORT TO PROMOTE ECUMENISM
Two pastors were at a conference when a debate over baptism arose over lunch. The Baptist argued vehemently (as Baptists are wont to do) for his view of total immersion while the Presbyterian sat back, calmly puffing on his pipe, and smilingly stated simply that pouring or sprinkling water on the head was sufficient.
The debate began to wax hotter when the Presbyterian offered to prove his point. The Baptist defied him to do so.
“If the candidate was in water up to his ankles, would that be enough?” asked the Presbyterian.
“Absolutely not!” snapped the Baptist.
“Then how about up to his knees?”
“No. Not good enough,” the Baptist huffed.
“OK. Then how about up to his waist?” queried the patient Presbyterian.
“Nope!”
“Well, what if he was immersed in water up to his chest?”
“That would not be baptism!”
“Would you accept it if he was in water up to his neck?”
“NO!”
“Then how about if he was in water all the way up to his forehead? Would that be good enough?” smiled the Presbyterian?
“No. No. A thousand times no!” shouted the Baptist.
“Well then,” the Presbyterian responded, “It’s just as I said. It’s only the water that goes on top that really matters.”
(Note to Yakimaniac: No, you won’t have to be a very good swimmer. I haven’t lost one yet! But I have stories that ought to be told someday!)
7 Comments:
Here in the Great PNW Baptist ministers used to "lose" them all the time in the swift, clear and cold running streams and rivers. It was a combination of the current and hypothermia. The legislature had to pass a law. Now all baptisms must be done in swimming pools. Chlorinated, of course!
Yak,
Are you joking? Is it seriously against the law to baptize in rivers or lakes out there? Amazing!
Shilohdude,
Don't ever make the mistake of believing Mr. Yak.
Mrs. Yak
Mrs. Yak,
THANKS!
Full immersion is the only sure-fire baptism. Recently, the father of an old friend passed away. George had lived a good long life and was reknown as a godly man, a good husband, father and friend to many. When I was 14 his son, Pete, was my best friend and I spent a lot of time at his house. George was an elder in my church and was to baptize me and several others one Sunday. When it was my turn, after my confession of faith, I grabbed my nose and George grabbed my arm and baptized me - but he got my first name wrong!
This world is a sadder place without George, but hopefully he has spoken to heaven's administrative staff and had them correct that name mix-up.
Dear OG,
First, I just want you to know how happy I am that you are still alive. I was beginning to wonder what happened to you.
Second, how about this: A friend of mine is one of those guys who has two first names. I.e. his surname is also a common first name like Scott or Will. At his wedding, the pastor called him by his surname throughout the ceremony and at the introduction he called them Mr. and Mrs. First Name! A pastor's nightmare!
Dear Yakimaniac,
Will my salt water pool suffice?
As your wife knows, I am considering having my dear daughters "christened" here at home. Do you think that the YB's chlorinated pool would be more sacred? Help! I don't want to take any chances.
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