A CALL TO BUFFET DINERS!
I wonder if you saw the item on ABC News this morning about the family that was banished from their local buffet restaurant for wasting food. The mother of the family complained that the sign said “All You Can Eat.” The manager of the restaurant noted that the operative word in the sign was “Eat.” She stated that the family was taking far more food than they could possibly eat. This family is no longer allowed to eat in that restaurant.
A number of our readers are regulars at their local buffet restaurants. I’m concerned about the ramifications such behavior on the part of restaurant managers might bring about. All of us have had the experience of taking “food” from the hot table and then discovering it did not taste like anything familiar once we got it back to our tables. Could this really be considered wasting “food?”
I fear a buffet restaurant conspiracy. Are we now going to be considered criminals? I just want my children to know their dad is not a criminal! And what if these managers discover all the little plastic bags in my mother-in-law’s purse? Will she be carted off in handcuffs, have her picture taken, and be printed like a common thief? Something has to be done.
I’m considering calling for a “no bringo” to buffet restaurants day all over North America and Mexico. We have rights! We are just eating “food” no other Americans are willing to eat. Without us the buffet restaurant economy will collapse in upon itself. We need to boycott buffets. Make signs and march in front of the strip malls where these “restaurants” are located! After all, the land upon which they are built was ours before they came and took it away from us! We have children at home who depend on the food we put in our Baggies and send home to them.
Our children can get involved too by participating in the “no bringo” lunch money to school part of the boycott. After all, school cafeterias are no more than buffets with no choice! They should take their lunches to school that day and march off campus to eat them somewhere else.
I’m calling on the buffet diners of America to rise up and demand their rights. We should be allowed to take what we want and then belch and pass gas in any language we want, including Spanish! Jose can you see o’er the land of free food and the home of the Braves?
4 Comments:
Shilo,
does the Home Town Buffet believe in total immersion of the chicken into the barbecue sauce? I've tried it and it seems to be a little weak on flavor. I think they're just sprinkling.
This is an easy problem. Here is how you handle the uncooperative 48/36 Sansabelt HTB managers: Wave a Sizzler gift certificate under their nose and they'll be hauling buffet food to your house in dumptrucks.
If I can alter the subject for just one moment...today I was reminded of the many reasons why I try to never sit at the counter of any and all eating establishments.
(Imagine if they had a "counter" at a buffet, you could just cram your ugly face directly from the food bins without having to maneuver your tray around the joint)...now, back to my alteration:
The wife and I sat at the counter today at a local burger joint called "Rubys" as we didn't want to wait for a table. This solved one of my main concerns of being surrounded by 2 strangers, one of whom may want to engage you in a conversation which, although this could lead to their salvation, most often in fact would simply disrupt my desire to read the newspaper and be lost in deep thoughts.
Today, I was quickly joined at the feared counter to my right by a big burger fan who was wearing way too much perfume. I was anxious for my own personal burger to arrive for want of smashing the bun, patty, cheese and pickles up into my nose to regain my sense of composure, such was the power of her cheap perfume.
I would have moved to the seat on the other side of my wife to escape the perfume, but my self consciousness would not allow it.
So, if you ever come over to my local coffee shop between 11 and 12 in the morning you will find me at a table for 2, 4, sometimes 6 and I will have the newspaper spread out all over the table...since you know, I never was house trained.
Dear YB
You MUST come over soon for THE most amazing burger ever. My darling husband has outdone himself. The wings pale by comparison. You can sit wherever you like, all alone if you please.
No one here wears purfume or cologne. As you know we are just our own smokey and cigary selves.
With love SYS
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