POWER TOOLS!

Well, gentle readers, it’s about time we finished up that basement project, wouldn’t you say? Seems it’s been dragging on long enough. Problems galore! If you refer back to my blog on May 11 I sarcastically said I hate do-it-yourself jobs because three day jobs turn into three month jobs. It looks like it might come in at just under two months. Should I be glad?

After taping and mudding and sanding and mudding and sanding and mudding the floor looked like a flock of 500 pigeons had flown in and taken up housekeeping. That’s when the real disaster hit. My lovely wife decided that a drop ceiling was really unnecessary, and for this I will always be grateful. She said, “Hey! I’ve got an idea! Let’s just spray paint the joists and pipes and wires and ductwork all black like a coffee house!” I thought this was a wonderful idea! So we got some black paint at Home Depot and went to rent the sprayer. They didn’t have the regular old domestic sprayers, only the industrial strength, heavy duty sprayers. I didn’t care. I was hot to trot to get this job done! So I took the high test sprayer. To make a long, miserable story short and miserable, the darn thing was so powerful that it sprayed way too much paint everywhere and the floor suddenly looked like all my pigeons had some terrible form of rectal cancer! That sprayer was so strong that I could have painted a 747 from the ground!

OK. No problem. We just put Kilz all over the walls and started painting. It started to look like a real room! Sadly, an amateur taping job can look absolutely wonderful until you start putting color on the walls! I was mortified! Places leaped out at me where it appeared no one had sanded at all! Pock marks! I thought I might be sick.

Press on! The lovely wife rescued me again. “Hey! I’ve got an idea! Instead of trying to trim this with the usual white trim, let’s do it like a coffee house! You know, four-inch strips of composite board around the ceiling, floor, doors, and windows!” Great idea! That would be easy!

Here’s where the power tools come in! Remember Tim Allen’s show, Home Improvement? Remember the manly sounds he used to make whenever he was showing off his power tools? They started emerging from my inner soul! What I needed was a skil saw! Caleb said, “No, Dad, you need a circular saw.” I said, “Don’t tell me what I need! I need a skil saw!” “No, Dad. Skil is a brand name, like Kleenex. There are lots of circular saws.” “Oh.”

So off we went to Lowes again. Caleb worked in construction last summer so he knew what we were looking for. He picked out a circular saw, a brand I had never heard of. A Porter something or other. Remember how my Black and Decker drill battery or charger had died on me? I thought I could get a new battery for it. The tool dude just laughed at me! They don’t make that kind of battery anymore. Just like Detroit. Planned obsolescence! Oh well. I was on a roll. I bought another drill too. I needed just one more thing…a tool belt! I tried one on but I couldn’t figure out what I would do with all the pockets. I ended up buying a nice leather belt with attachable hammer hanger and leather nail pouch. Oo-oo-oo!

Caleb and I set up in the garage. (Yes, Mr. Smoking Christian, there is something else you can do in your garage!) Got the saw horses set up. Put a sheet of composite board on them and fired up the old Porter something or other! Caleb cut the strips at four inches each. I started rounding off the edges with my power sander. The testosterone was flying all over the place! I worked until 10:00 last night putting the polyurethane on the trim strips.

Today was the day! Caleb and I got a good start. Those strips of trim were going up so fast I was amazed! They looked good! Mia was thrilled. I felt manly. My friends are all teasing me about my tool belt. They’re just jealous, I think. I’m pretty proud of myself. But deep down inside I just love to say, “Yeah, I got a new circular saw and drill the other day.” But it’s hard not to smile just a little bit when I say it!

Happy Fourth of July! Thanks for dropping by!