Friday, March 24, 2006

THE PURPOSE DRIVEN WIFE

You’ve been watching it on CNN or Fox News all day today. A most unfortunate event in Selmer, TN. Mrs. Mary Winkler (minister’s wife) shot her husband, Rev. Matt Winkler (minister) twice in the back, killing him. She took their three daughters and fled to Alabama which is, to quote a CNN talking head, “about as far as you can go before reaching the Atlantic Ocean.” (A brilliant insight barring the fact that Alabama doesn’t touch the Atlantic Ocean.) Minister Matt (the church people asked the media not to refer to him as “pastor”) was found dead in his bedroom when the faithful came to find him after he didn’t turn up for Wednesday night prayer meeting.

The news people have been struggling all day trying to find some reason for Mrs. Winkler’s actions. They have asked all the leading questions which would serve to destroy the poor minister’s reputation. “Was it a crime of passion?” “Was one of them having an affair?” They went on and on to no avail. Of course, everyone they interviewed was stunned, “Oh my! She was the sweetest thing. None of us can even imagine her doing something like this! We just can’t figure it out.” (I keep waiting for one of these things to happen and hear some old guy say, “We all tried to tell Rev. Matt that she was just no good, but he wouldn’t listen to us!)

By the way, this is one of the reasons I’m not a hunter and don’t want guns in the house. Mia and I had a very long conversation this morning and she assures me she is very happy.

It’s time I put an end to all of the useless speculation about why Christian wives sometimes crack and do things like this. It’s all in my book, The Purpose Driven Wife. Now some of you might say, “It sure looks like Mrs. Winkler had a purpose in mind!” I grant your point. But did she really understand her purpose in life? I submit that if she had a firm grasp on God’s purpose for her as a wife this tragedy never would have happened! Here are a few chapter headings and bullet points from the book:

WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I HERE FOR?

This is not an accident. As good Calvinists we know that there are no accidents. You married him, you keep him. Husbands are not disposable objects

What drives you as a wife?

Seeing life from your husband’s perspective.

YOU WERE PLANNED FOR HIS PLEASURE

What makes him smile?

How to become his best friend.

What to do when he seems distant. (This chapter carries an “R” rating)

There are more chapters designed to help the Christian wife discover her purpose:

FORMED FOR YOUR FAMILY
SHAPED FOR SERVING
MADE FOR A MANSION, etc.

There will be a future volume entitled, Color Me Driven.

I’m just trying to do my part to help cut down on the needlessly high divorce rate. We just need to all get along.

4 Comments:

Blogger Smoking Christian said...

She claims she had a valid Husband Hunting Licence. But, it was five days before the official opening of Husband Hunting Season there. (No wonder he was caught off guard.)

I believe she could be facing a $500 fine and I think she should be forced pay the max.

I also believe that the husband should not be mounted like a trophy deer in her living room. I believe that sends the wrong message to her children.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Shiloh Guy said...

Thank you, Smoking Christian, for making sure my guilt feelings for having written something in such poor taste would be assuaged by writing your comment which is in even poorer taste! Greater love has no man than this... you're the best!

10:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Church wife kills pastor husband; missing 14 year old emerges 10 years later after being presumed dead; beautiful, blonde, bipolar, bathing beauty teacher basks in media attention for seducing 12 year old student; SC joins YB at Polly's Pies for hamburger and dessert with coffee...a very busy week for the news business!

11:18 PM  
Blogger OG said...

Shilohman, it's like I have always said, when guns are outlawed only minister's wives will have guns.

You state, "It’s time I put an end to all of the useless speculation about why Christian wives sometimes crack and do things like this." Why are we assuming she was a Christian? Faith is no more a prerequisite to being a minister's wife than it is to smoking.

I know you are just trying to do your part to cut down on the needlessly high divorce rate but I am pretty sure that being divorced is better than getting two bullets in your back. At least so far.

5:50 PM  

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