COME INTO MY CLOSET! PART 3
Or, Back Where I Belong
Why Wheaton Graduate School? Well, it looked like my ministry options were narrowing down. Obviously seminary wasn’t the answer for me. I figured that meant the pastorate was out of the question. (Remember, I thought all seminaries were the same, like law schools. If you’re asked to leave one, why try another?) Maybe my career would be in academia. My dad always thought I would make a good teacher or college professor. Perhaps I could dedicate my life to college students and teach them to get into trouble by thinking for themselves. I could get my MA at Wheaton and then go on for a PhD in Church History or Theology. Since I transferred to Wheaton as a junior, I felt cheated out of two years of the Wheaton experience. Besides, I still had some really good friends back there, including the YB of the SC. They might welcome me back!
It was a rather well-known fact that the grad students were nerds so I tried to disguise the fact that I was one of them. Nerds have a hard time getting girls and I knew I needed a wife sooner or sooner. I lived off campus in a nice apartment complex which was cool. I had the only ’69 Firebird in the grad school. And I had the YB of the SC who was willing to keep my secret and let me hang around with him and his buddies (including the Yakimaniac) and they always had girls (including Mrs. Yak) around them.
(YB, this would be the time for the Roberta Bruss story. Yes, the YB and I both had a crush on the same girl at the same time. We competed for her attention. She was very happy to let us do so. I remember once when we spent an evening trying to woo her together! It wasn’t until later that she told us she wouldn’t date us because she was going to remain true to her boyfriend up in Wisconsin! She did tell you that, didn’t she YB? At least that’s what she told me!)
When I began at the grad school I went into the office to take care of all my paperwork. They gave me a copy of the Pledge to sign along with all of my other papers. I signed all the papers except the Pledge and handed them back to the lady. A few days later I got a note asking me to come in to see the assistant dean. Déjà vu all over again! He asked me why I hadn’t signed the Pledge. I told him I had signed it AND KEPT IT when I was an undergraduate and I pointed out that some of the grad students were old enough to be my dad! How could they require grown men and women to sign a pledge like that. He told me I would be required to go into the office and sign it anyway. I never did. They never called me back.
I loved my time at the grad school. I loved the classes. I loved being back in an atmosphere where I could ask questions and debate without getting in trouble. I loved my off campus job as a waiter at Victoria Station. I loved working in Campus Life. And I loved a girl I met working on the Campus Life Haunted House in October, 1976. She would become my wife in August, 1977.
So I studied hard and did well. Time came for me to write my master’s thesis. Wheaton is pretty tough about theses. I had to write on something no other Wheaton grad student had ever written on before. I decided to write something on the parables. I wasn’t sure what it would be but I was interested in the parables. I started researching. I translated all of the parables. Nothing was coming to me! I worked on it for months. My advisor did everything he could to help kick start my thought process. Nothing! I was starting to panic. I’d never get into a PhD program without a thesis! I had mountains of materials but not one creative idea. Finally, my advisor sat me down for the talk. He said, “I just think you’re not an original thinker. You do well taking material and putting it together but you haven’t had an original idea!” We were both discouraged and heartbroken. I took the two additional classes instead of writing the thesis and kissed my PhD goodbye.
To be continued….
Next: Battling Presbyterians
Why Wheaton Graduate School? Well, it looked like my ministry options were narrowing down. Obviously seminary wasn’t the answer for me. I figured that meant the pastorate was out of the question. (Remember, I thought all seminaries were the same, like law schools. If you’re asked to leave one, why try another?) Maybe my career would be in academia. My dad always thought I would make a good teacher or college professor. Perhaps I could dedicate my life to college students and teach them to get into trouble by thinking for themselves. I could get my MA at Wheaton and then go on for a PhD in Church History or Theology. Since I transferred to Wheaton as a junior, I felt cheated out of two years of the Wheaton experience. Besides, I still had some really good friends back there, including the YB of the SC. They might welcome me back!
It was a rather well-known fact that the grad students were nerds so I tried to disguise the fact that I was one of them. Nerds have a hard time getting girls and I knew I needed a wife sooner or sooner. I lived off campus in a nice apartment complex which was cool. I had the only ’69 Firebird in the grad school. And I had the YB of the SC who was willing to keep my secret and let me hang around with him and his buddies (including the Yakimaniac) and they always had girls (including Mrs. Yak) around them.
(YB, this would be the time for the Roberta Bruss story. Yes, the YB and I both had a crush on the same girl at the same time. We competed for her attention. She was very happy to let us do so. I remember once when we spent an evening trying to woo her together! It wasn’t until later that she told us she wouldn’t date us because she was going to remain true to her boyfriend up in Wisconsin! She did tell you that, didn’t she YB? At least that’s what she told me!)
When I began at the grad school I went into the office to take care of all my paperwork. They gave me a copy of the Pledge to sign along with all of my other papers. I signed all the papers except the Pledge and handed them back to the lady. A few days later I got a note asking me to come in to see the assistant dean. Déjà vu all over again! He asked me why I hadn’t signed the Pledge. I told him I had signed it AND KEPT IT when I was an undergraduate and I pointed out that some of the grad students were old enough to be my dad! How could they require grown men and women to sign a pledge like that. He told me I would be required to go into the office and sign it anyway. I never did. They never called me back.
I loved my time at the grad school. I loved the classes. I loved being back in an atmosphere where I could ask questions and debate without getting in trouble. I loved my off campus job as a waiter at Victoria Station. I loved working in Campus Life. And I loved a girl I met working on the Campus Life Haunted House in October, 1976. She would become my wife in August, 1977.
So I studied hard and did well. Time came for me to write my master’s thesis. Wheaton is pretty tough about theses. I had to write on something no other Wheaton grad student had ever written on before. I decided to write something on the parables. I wasn’t sure what it would be but I was interested in the parables. I started researching. I translated all of the parables. Nothing was coming to me! I worked on it for months. My advisor did everything he could to help kick start my thought process. Nothing! I was starting to panic. I’d never get into a PhD program without a thesis! I had mountains of materials but not one creative idea. Finally, my advisor sat me down for the talk. He said, “I just think you’re not an original thinker. You do well taking material and putting it together but you haven’t had an original idea!” We were both discouraged and heartbroken. I took the two additional classes instead of writing the thesis and kissed my PhD goodbye.
To be continued….
Next: Battling Presbyterians
5 Comments:
Whew! For a moment there I thought I was going to have to explain to Mrs. Yak about all the girls.
Shilohdude,
You did a great job disguising your grad student status. Until reading this post - I never knew. I always thought you were an undergrad like us, just a year older, and living off campus in an apartment. What other secrets are you going to divulge?
Mrs. Yak
I didn't know you worked at Victoria's Secret. How come I couldn't get a job there?
I'm currently trying to imagine a "Campus Life Haunted House." Do you see people drinking beer, smoking and playing cards?
But, seriously, I am enjoying this series. Isn't it strange how you picked an educational environment where you would be considered a, sort of, rebel? I did the same thing. Then, I went to UCSB and relished the change. What a difference. I was no longer constantly compared to various, dark figures from the Book of Revelations. Plus, that black, hooded robe was very itchy.
Roberta Bruss left Wheaton after her freshman (or perhaps sophomore) year and never came back. I'm sure that we were partly to blame, imagine her confusion! She left with my favorite Firefall cassette and this was the worst form of ejection one could suffer. (Get the joke? Cassette - ejection/ relationship - rejection/ primary - election...here I go again.)
Yes we got it YB. We all got it, unlike my Claremont/Process Theology pun on "...CLOSET! PART 2."
Sheesh!
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