THE LOVE OF MONEY...

The article came from Associated Press and the byline was Grain Valley, MO.

Sarah (45) and Kris (33) Everson, told their local paper, The Examiner in Independence, that they had recently become the proud parents of sextuplets. Sarah said she could not tell the story of the births of her four sons and two daughters because a court order had been issued which forced her to be silent. Apparently, someone in Kris’ family was looking to kill Sarah and Kris and the six new babies.

The couple had turned one of their bedrooms into a nursery. Their house had a number of books and publications on multiple births. There was a photograph of Sarah and Kris holding up six little infant outfits. The newspaper reported that the Eversons were having serious financial difficulties and the Good Samaritans went to work right away. A website was started to help them. They were asking for a van, a washer and dryer, cash, and gift certificates.

The story started to come apart when someone bothered to check the hospitals to see where the babies were born. None of the hospitals reported being involved in the births. The police investigated and the Eversons admitted to fabricating the entire story. Sarah’s one quote was, “I’m not talking to anybody right now because nobody gets it.” (?)

This gave me another fundraising idea for the Church of the Smoking Christian.

We should all apply for federal monies due to the fact that our homes were severely damaged in Hurricane Katrina. Just call The Examiner and tell them that no one in the federal government will pay any attention to us. We’ve been living in our garages and we need money to repair our homes. The fact that we all live in the north or far west should have nothing to do with it.

We should all file suit against Duke University. It seems our wives and daughters are black exotic dancers and they were attacked at a frat party. We would be happy to settle this one out of court because one of the women and three of the daughters are part of a pastor’s family and he wants to avoid the negative publicity.

We should all demand property in Great Britain. I believe all of us have some form of British heritage and we were forced out of our lands by money-grubbing noblemen sometime back in the 14th Century. We should have remuneration and the right to establish a casino which would of course be tax exempt. (The more I think about it, the happier I am that we have not only a pastor whose word is above reproach but an attorney who can probably be a huge help in this process.)

Finally, all of us suffered irrevocable emotional and psychological damage as a result of the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco. This would be easy to prove if we just sent the right representatives to the hearing.

You guys are all great! Thanks for stopping by!