Wednesday, April 12, 2006

THE LOVE OF MONEY...


The article came from Associated Press and the byline was Grain Valley, MO.

Sarah (45) and Kris (33) Everson, told their local paper, The Examiner in Independence, that they had recently become the proud parents of sextuplets. Sarah said she could not tell the story of the births of her four sons and two daughters because a court order had been issued which forced her to be silent. Apparently, someone in Kris’ family was looking to kill Sarah and Kris and the six new babies.

The couple had turned one of their bedrooms into a nursery. Their house had a number of books and publications on multiple births. There was a photograph of Sarah and Kris holding up six little infant outfits. The newspaper reported that the Eversons were having serious financial difficulties and the Good Samaritans went to work right away. A website was started to help them. They were asking for a van, a washer and dryer, cash, and gift certificates.

The story started to come apart when someone bothered to check the hospitals to see where the babies were born. None of the hospitals reported being involved in the births. The police investigated and the Eversons admitted to fabricating the entire story. Sarah’s one quote was, “I’m not talking to anybody right now because nobody gets it.” (?)

This gave me another fundraising idea for the Church of the Smoking Christian.

We should all apply for federal monies due to the fact that our homes were severely damaged in Hurricane Katrina. Just call The Examiner and tell them that no one in the federal government will pay any attention to us. We’ve been living in our garages and we need money to repair our homes. The fact that we all live in the north or far west should have nothing to do with it.

We should all file suit against Duke University. It seems our wives and daughters are black exotic dancers and they were attacked at a frat party. We would be happy to settle this one out of court because one of the women and three of the daughters are part of a pastor’s family and he wants to avoid the negative publicity.

We should all demand property in Great Britain. I believe all of us have some form of British heritage and we were forced out of our lands by money-grubbing noblemen sometime back in the 14th Century. We should have remuneration and the right to establish a casino which would of course be tax exempt. (The more I think about it, the happier I am that we have not only a pastor whose word is above reproach but an attorney who can probably be a huge help in this process.)

Finally, all of us suffered irrevocable emotional and psychological damage as a result of the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco. This would be easy to prove if we just sent the right representatives to the hearing.

You guys are all great! Thanks for stopping by!

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're really getting the hang of this blogging thing! And you sound like a real feet-on-the-ground type guy. Keep up the good work!

1:16 AM  
Blogger Smoking Christian said...

Don't forget the trauma I have suffered watching the genocide in Dafur. Somebody needs to pay me for that.

I'm also suing Westmont College because my dear Mother told me last night that my liberal New Testament teacher started me on my long yet short road to absolute wrongness.
Do you have any idea how badly it hurts to be wrong all the time? Big money's coming out of this one.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to sue Shilohman for future and potential eye injury caused by your sometimes, rather often blurry pictures. Now, suddenly today your picture is much clearer. Did you get a new scanner or am I starting to adjust my vision to fit your blog? My attorney needs to know.

12:03 PM  
Blogger Shiloh Guy said...

Dear YB,

Thanks for asking about the pictures. Actually, thanks for not making fun of me for all the blurry pictures in the past. Nothing new. I'm just learning a little more all the time about how to work this machine. I felt bad for awhile that nobody commented on the fact that I singlehandedly figured out how to make links to all the blogs. Then I felt bad that no one noticed that I learned how to put in pictures all by myself. Yesterday my worship dude from Shiloh told me that I have to save the pictures in their larger forms in order to preserve their focus. I feel so emergent!

Wait until I tell you guys what we are doing with the cafetorium where Shiloh meets! Talk about emergent!

1:10 PM  
Blogger Yakimaniac said...

I can tell you that Mr. Yak never commented on your links because he's still pouting that you listed us last. Hey! At least we spelled the name of your blog correctly unlike OTHER unnamed bloggers!

Mrs. Yak

3:19 PM  
Blogger Smoking Christian said...

Dear Mrs. Yak,

Boy, that strike didn't last long did it?!!

I bet I really scared you with my not-so-idle threat to go to Asia for cheaper readers.

Or, shudder, perhaps you're just boycotting the Smoking Christian. That makes sense.

3:31 PM  
Blogger Shiloh Guy said...

Mrs. Yak,

Please inform the pouting Mr. Yak that I did the others first in order to get the hang of it because I didn't want to make any mistakes in creating the most important link of all!

Let me know if that works!

3:50 PM  
Blogger Yakimaniac said...

Dear SC,

Why whatever do you mean? I believe that was Virginia Slims who commented about being one of the only females bloggers involved in this nonsense. I'm just "one of the guys", right YB? That's what you used to tell me when you'd dance around in your tightie whities!

Mrs. Yak

6:58 PM  
Blogger Yakimaniac said...

Dear Shilohman,

Brillant reply. If that doesn't work, I'll assure him you were "saving the best for last". He's awfully quiet today isn't he? Maybe he's actually WORKING for his paycheck for once!

Mrs. Yak

7:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does every one think SYS stands for Smoking Youngest Son of Shilohman? (No that would be his oldes) I'm a woman I tell you, A W-O-M-A-N. And I blog. I'm a blogger. Yes I have been uncharacteristly quiet for a Moorhead.

Apparently one needs to comment on music to get noticed around here. Currently loving: David Grey 'Tell Me Something I Don't Already Know'...
SYS

7:41 PM  

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